Why Marilyn Monroe Wasn’t Happy

Many of us believe we would be happier if we had more money, more fame, more beauty and more adoration. Icon Marilyn Monroe had all of those things and more. Norma Jeane Baker come into the spotlight under the stage name Marilyn Monroe in the 1950s. During the height of her career, you would probably view her as the ultimate success story. Girl comes from nothing and conquers the world! So how did this seemingly perfect life turn into a tragedy in the blink of an eye? More importantly, what can we learn from this legendary star and apply to our own lives?

Marilyn Monroe didn’t have the easiest childhood. Her father wasn’t in the picture and her mother was not prepared for parenthood financially or emotionally. Monroe was put into foster care shortly after birth and although her mother remained a part of her life her foster parents were the ones raising her. Despite the foster parents wanting to adopt Marilyn, her mother took her back full time when she was about 7. Shortly after, Monroe’s mother suffered a mental breakdown, was diagnosed with schizophrenia and spent the remainder of her life in a revolving door of psychiatric hospitals and care. With her mother once again being in no position to provide care for her, Monroe became a ward of the state and returned to foster care. Unfortunately, this period of her life didn’t provide much positivity or stability. Marylin Monroe found herself hopping from family to family and even spending time in orphanages. During this time, she experienced many horrors such as multiple instances of sexual abuse, molestation and isolation. These unthinkable experiences affected Marilyn deeply and the trauma caused her to become very withdrawn and depressed. To escape this situation and find stability, she chose to get married at the age of 16. This marriage ended up being a loveless one and while it didn’t affect Marilyn negatively, it was short lived.

Marilyn Monroe was very driven to achieve her goals. She broke into the modeling world and then decided to set her sights on acting. Before she knew it, Marilyn was starring in the most popular films and becoming a household name. All of her dreams were coming true! She was considered the “it girl” of the era and in the publics eyes she could do no wrong. Her scandals were even making fame skyrocket to new heights. She was recognized as the top actress, she was certainly one of the highest paid people in Hollywood and she had unmeasurable love and admiration from her massive fan base. Marilyn Monroe was just adding award after award to her growing collection. Despite her growing success Marilyn was still struggling. Her lack of confidence and happiness were still evident in her behavior especially in a working environment. Marilyn was rumored to be very difficult to work with and her perfectionism was making it impossible for her to be satisfied with any project she was involved with. The amount of pressure she was putting on herself eventually lead Monroe to turn to substance abuse. These habits eventually made the problems she was experiencing even worse and lead to addiction issues. As we’ve all seen time and time again, eventually addiction catches up with everyone. Marilyn Monroe was no exception to this and her performances began to suffer as a result. This only added to her substance abuse and eventually she ended up losing her life to her addiction. There is no question that her lethal overdose was intentional because the toxicology report showed that the amount of drugs in her system were several times the fatal dose.

How you feel has nothing to do with your circumstances. The reason Marilyn Monroe committed suicide because she never learned to conquer her emotional state. Instead of learning to find happiness within herself, she chose to use drugs to try and change how she was feeling. She had every reason in the world to be happy by most people standards. The amount of money she had would be the equivalent to about $2 billion in this day and age. She was considered by many to be the most beautiful woman in the entire world. She had dedicated fans who viewed her as the perfect woman. She had reached an unmatched level of fame. She had numerous awards validating her success. She lives on as a legend even to this day even though she passed away over 50 years ago. She had to have seen the impact she made not only on her industry but on the world as a whole, yet this is a woman who felt hopeless enough to take her own life. Obviously now that you’ve read about her childhood, you know that that trauma was a factor. As many of us tend to believe, Marilyn probably thought all of these achievements and material items in her life were supposed to bring her joy. She probably believed the money, success and admiration had the ability to erase her broken past. No circumstance you create for yourself will ever have the ability to do that for you. Happiness is a choice. If you aren’t happy with your life as it is in this current moment, I’m not suggesting that you should just accept it and do nothing to change it. What I am suggesting is that you take action immediately to learn to be happy every step of the way and start training your brain to be happy regardless of the circumstances you are in at any given time in your life. Even the world’s most successful people will tell you that life is full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Until you reprogram your brain to be happy during the entire ride, it won’t know how to be happy in even the best of times and Marilyn Monroe is the proof of that.

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**I should mention that I understand how mental illness could have played a role in this situation. With her mother’s diagnoses it is certainly a possibility that Marilyn Monroe was more prone to the same issues. However, dwelling on negative thoughts has been proven to worsen your brain chemistry when these illnesses are present. If you do suffer from mental illness, I encourage you to seek professional help and allow them to help you develop strategies to improve your ability to cope with whatever issues you may be experiencing. If you are predisposed to have negative thoughts, this concept is going to be even more important for you. Please, take care of yourself. The world just wouldn’t be the same without you.

this has been DAY ONE of Blogmas 2018

Leave Rachel Hollis Alone! How “Girl, Wash Your Face” Saved Me

When I say “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis changed my life, I can tell you I’m not being dramatic. This is a book that came into my life at a very important moment. I’m 27 years old, I’ve been running my own business for almost 2 years and it’s HARD! There have definitely been brief moments where I considered giving up. I think deep down I knew I wouldn’t but when you’re broke, sleep deprived and emotional sometimes even your most precious dreams don’t seem worth it in those painful moments. I spent some of that time feeling sorry for myself but I spent more of that time feeling down on myself. I was overwhelmed and I was doubting myself. I had an inner dialogue trying to convince me that I wasn’t capable and there were new reasons why almost every single day.

I started seeing some people I know posting about “Girl, Wash Your Face” on Facebook and I had no idea what it was about. I had never heard of Rachel Hollis and due to the demographic, who I saw posting about it, and the title, I assumed it was some kind of beauty book! You see, I work in the beauty industry and the peers who happened to be raving about it do too so that’s how the dots were connecting in my head. Since I sometimes get caught up in FOMO (fear of missing out) I felt like I had to read this book so that I would know what everyone was talking about.

click this image to start your free trial

I downloaded the book on Audible. Audible has been such a game changer for me because I love to read! I’ve always loved reading ever since I learned how but one of the challenges I started facing when I opened my business was time management and I was struggling to find time to the things I love to do for myself. Audible was a solution to that problem for me because now I can LISTEN to books which allows me to multitask. I’m able to listen to my books when I’m driving, at the gym, doing dishes or cleaning. This app has helped me to get that missing piece (reading) back. Using the link above, you actually can sign up for Audible and get your first TWO books free. I highly suggest you try it out because with a deal like that, what do you have to lose?

photo via www.thechicsite.com (Rachel Hollis’s blog)

I was immediately pleasantly surprised to find out Rachel Hollis read the audio book HERSELF! This was amazing because it felt like she was speaking directly to me and I could definitely recognize moments throughout the book where she would read certain parts with emphasis where she intended it. I don’t know if an outside reader could’ve possibly gotten Rachel’s points across the way she was able to herself.

photo via www.thechicsite.com (Rachel Hollis’s blog)

The title of this book comes from the idea that times are going to be hard, and it’s okay to cry. It’s even okay to ugly cry! Get at all out but then, you need to wash your face and keep going. This isn’t being said to minimize what you’re going through, it’s being said in the context of not giving up. Giving up is the most detrimental thing to our success because it makes it impossible. However, it’s important to keep this idea in perspective. As the author clearly states, this isn’t directed at someone struggling with depression. Clinical depression is something that is in the chemistry of your brain and your genetic makeup. This is directed at the person who just happens to be going through a tough season or moment in their life. This has nothing to do with lacking compassion and everything to do with encouraging you to keep going.

Image via Audible on my phone

Each chapter of “Girl, Wash Your Face” begins with a lie we tell ourselves with a title to match. Each chapter also ends with ways the author herself overcome the issues surrounding those lies and offers relatable suggestions for you to do the same. In other words, she is identifying problems in your life that you may or may not know you even have and then she’s offering viable solutions. As Hollis explains perfectly, sometimes these lies have been playing so loud in our heads for so long that we don’t even hear them anymore. So, we may no longer even be aware that we are telling ourselves these things. A few of the lies that are addressed are: “Something Else Will Make Me Happy”, “I’ll Start Tomorrow”, “I’m Not Good Enough” and “I’m Better Than You”. As you can imagine, these topics are a wake-up call for sure. I learned more about myself from a complete stranger than I’ve learned from some of the people who have known me my entire life. I honestly feel like this book not only showed me some of my flaws that I wasn’t aware of (in the most loving, encouraging and gentle ways possible) but also gave me the tools I need to address them. This book lead me to a lot of self-discovery and helped me realize things some people have only unlocked about themselves after years of therapy.

image via amazon.com

As anything else that reaches the popularity of this book does, I have seen the author receive some criticism. I don’t believe the criticism has been warranted. I actually find it highly unlikely that most of these criticizers have actually read the book because if they had, they would see the inaccuracies in the things that they’re saying. Rachel Hollis’s opponents refer to her as a privileged, affluent, Christian, white woman who is unrelatable due to the fact that they don’t feel that she’s been through legitimate struggle. First of all, who are we to determine the degree to which another person has struggled? Second of all, if a borderline abusive and traumatic childhood that came to an abrupt end after discovering your sibling’s dead body due to suicide isn’t enough of a hardship for you then maybe infertility, failed adoption attempts or facial paralysis might be. No? Would you feel better if Rachel Hollis wallowed in her sorrows? Would her struggles be valid for you then? I believe the only reason people are so upset with this author is because she has learned to be successful despite her setbacks. A lot of us haven’t and I hadn’t either… until now. No one can force you to reach your full potential, but I know I’m going to everything in my power to reach mine.

The Ultimate Gift Guide for Your Besties ($25 or Under)

The holidays can be so hard because you have so many people to buy for! For most of us, family comes first and then we end up feeling guilty when the funds run out and we’ve purchased nothing for our loyal girl squad. I’ve searched high and low and I think I’ve come up with an amazing list of 10 gifts $25 or under that your Bestie(s) will actually want!

photo via @MorpheBrushes on Instagram
  • One of the MorpheX Jaclyn Hill Vault Collection Pallets. The actual vault retails for $49 and it includes all 4 pallets. However, the pallets retail separately for only $15! These are seriously some of my all-time favorite eye shadows and no matter which color scheme you choose, you really can’t go wrong. They are so AMAZING! Better yet, if you have 4 best friends buy the vault and split up the 4 pallets among them. I guarantee they’ll want to share because each pallet has it’s own unique assortment of colors. I linked the whole vault below, because it’s the best value but you can easily find the individual pallets on the website. Make sure you google coupon codes before you purchase, a lot of YouTubers have them with Morphe. I usually use JACATTACK for 15% off.
  • Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. I’ve seen this book retail for a lot of different prices! The lowest I’ve seen it was around $10 and the highest I believe was about $16. It’s definitely available for under $20. I know this book has gotten a little bit of backlash but I honestly think some people just didn’t understand it or else just didn’t give it a real chance. Everyone I know who actually read the book LOVED it and I honestly think it should be given as a right of passage to all millennial women. This is a book that I really can’t say enough good things about and if you want my more in depth thoughts click here! I did another post with a full review and all my thoughts.
Image Via Miley Bear Market
  • A Customized Mug! Have an inside joke? Something unique and special to your friendship? A saying that makes you think of your best friend? Why not put it on a mug? We all have seen someone local who has a crafting business whether it’s full time or just something they do on the side. We see their Facebook posts promoting their business and we probably scroll right past. We should consider them when we are looking for holiday gifts because they can usual create something beautiful, customized and amazing with a personal touch that can’t be purchased at a store. Besides, purchasing from them may be helping them provide a better Holiday for their family rather than just putting your dollars into another corporation. However, if you do order from them just be aware, they are humans and won’t be able to compete with Amazon having your item on your door step in two days. They are usually one person and they have to take time to create your custom item. I should also mention, prices may vary depending on the complexity of your request. If you don’t know of any local crafters, I use
    Miley Bear Market! She can be contacted most easily via Facebook. Just tell her Ashley sent you

 

Image Via Bath And Body Works 
  • A candle. Candles are SO underrated. A candle is a gift you may not be super excited when you open, but as soon as you smell it you are in heaven. This is how you can give the gift of relaxation. I wait for the Bath and Body Works Sales on their 3 wick candles and I stock up. Those babies will make the whole house smell glorious for weeks on end… longer if you don’t burn it during every waking hour like I do. Sorry Yankee, Bath and Body Works just beat every brand with their candles. They usually retail for $24.50. PLUS they have a lot of sales this time of year that will for sure bring it below $20. WATCH FOR CANDLE DAY! I don’t know when it will be this year but it’s usually in the beginning of December and 3 Wick Candles go on sale for like $8. I will update this post when I get official word but if you hear before me COMMENT BELOW. I don’t even want to link them because you really need to go smell them in person, but just so you know what I’m talking about, this is them.
    http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/c/home-fragrance/3-wick-candles
  • Okay this one might seem strange but just trust me for a minute! Tyler Glamorous Wash in the scent DIVA! Yes, it’s laundry detergent. Yes, this may seem like a very bizarre gift. Yes, your friend might look at you with a confused look on her face but, when she uses it for the first time she will understand. This stuff might be a little pricey to wash everything in so I use it exclusively for bedding. The aroma is one of the most luxurious things a person can experience and it fills the entire room not only while washing, but it sticks to the fabric of whatever you wash with it for a very long time. I don’t wash my comforter nearly as often as I wash my sheets and I’ll tell you the fragrance lingers for weeks. I guarantee this gift will be a huge hit. It’s currently retailing on Amazon for $25. Click the image above!  
Image Via Fandango
  • A Fandango Gift Card. Or really any movie gift card. Sometimes we can’t justify the expense of going to the movies when we are subscribed to Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime but when someone gives you a gift card that gives you the opportunity to enjoy the magic of the big screen. I received a Fandango Gift Card for Christmas last year and it really was a treat to be able to go out and not feel bad for not looking for something I already pay for through streaming.
    https://fandango.wgiftcard.com/responsive/personalize_responsive/chooseDesign/fandango_resp/1
  • A Phone Tripod. This is for your Instagram Obsessed Bestie. Selfies are kind of going away, all the it-girls on IG are taking more modeling type shots to fill their feed. Having a phone tripod will allow them to set a timer and get much more interesting poses. You will be your bestie’s new hero with this gift. I LOVE this Jelly Fish Tripod because it’s not bulky, so portable and easy to set up on the go whether I’m trying to take a group photo, solo pic, quick video or really anything! Click the image above! 
  • A Stick Immersion Blender. This is another one that might seem odd, but your health obsessed friend will love this gift. This thing is so portable and easy to take on the go. It’s going to be perfect for that lunch time smoothie at work, way easier than lugging around a bulky blender. There are a ton of scenarios where this thing comes in handy, don’t believe me? Just Google it. Click the image above. 
Image Via Aldi
  • WINE. Need I say more? This is another underrated gift. When you don’t know what to get someone you can never go wrong with a bottle of wine. AND GUESS WHAT?! Aldi has a surprisingly remarkable selection for unbeatable prices and most of them are in really cute bottles. You’re Welcome.
  • Wireless Bluetooth Headphones. I don’t know about everyone else, but if there’s one thing I can’t seem to keep track of it’s my damn headphones! Having a separate pair for my gym bag and my purse has been kind of a game changer for me and I’d like to have a spare for when one of those two decide to run away from home. I strongly believe you can never have too many pairs of these and they will always come in handy. No one will ever be disappointed to get some new headphones. Click the image above! 

I hope you enjoyed this gift guide and more importantly got lots of gift giving inspiration! I know most of these gifts were more geared towards your female besties. If you want to see a gift guide for male friends, significant others, parents, or anyone else, please leave me a comment down below and let me know. I’d be happy to write up another guide for you.

The Secret To Good Hair While Gallivanting

Traveling is great, don’t get me wrong! It’s just been my experience that I take a lot of things for granted and don’t realize how vital they are until I go away and forget to bring it. Like most of you, I have approximately 75,642 hair products and various brushes and tools. Why not start getting rid of some of it? Well, because I need them. I once heard a girl award herself with the title “Goo Hoarder” I can’t for the life of me remember who originally coined the term but it couldn’t be a more accurate description of where I’m at in my life. Here’s the issue though, when we have so many products we aren’t always keeping track of what we actually use. What ends up turning this scenario into a tragic moment in our story is the fact that when we travel, we end up with nothing we actually need.

 

So, here’s what I suggest: Start keeping track of what you’re actually using on a regular basis weeks before you go on a trip, or heck! Even when you don’t have any travel planned at all. This will give you plenty of time to observe yourself and figure out what your must-haves are. Then what you do, is you either go purchase travel sizes or you make your own. Making your own travel sizes will work most the time. The only time this will not be an option is with aerosol sprays so in that case you might want to go ahead and spring for the official travel sizes from whatever company the product is from. There are some great fillable travel containers on Amazon that I really like because I find them to be very durable! They’re also easy to clean and reuse so if you want to check those out, I will leave a link at the bottom of this post. After you have collected your travel sizes in whatever form you have chosen, it’s time to pack them into a nice clear travel bag. You might say, “But I’m not going anywhere yet…” Yes, I’m aware of that but having this bag put away and ready to go is going to simplify your life in the best possible way when it is time to travel.

 

I don’t unpack my travel hair bag when I return home. I just check to make sure nothing needs to be refilled, if it does, I take care of that immediately and then I put everything away until my next adventure. I usually leave my travel hair bag somewhere on my vanity where it’s out of my way but still on my mind in case I discover a new favorite product in between trips that I want to add.

 

Now, let’s talk about my travel hair bag! I’m going to share with you what currently lives in there and why. Your hair color, type, texture and various other factors are going to determine what belongs in yours but this is just an example for you.

 

Redken Blondage Shampoo & Conditioner: This lives in my Hair Bag because I have blonde hair and this is going to help me combat brass and keep my otherwise fragile over-processed hair strong. At home I generally use this system at least once a week but when we are on the road we have no idea what the water situation is going to be like so it’s great to have this on hand incase bizarre circumstances leave me feeling a little more yellow than I prefer to be.

 

Redken Glow Dry Shampoo & Conditioner: While I will fully acknowledge MOST people don’t need two different Shampoo/ Conditioner systems on the go, I feel like this is a complete necessity for the blondes. We can’t live without our toning shampoo (in this case it’s Blondage) BUT we also don’t want to overtone our hair on vacation and potentially turn it purple. For that reason, we need something to switch it out with. I LOVE the Diamond Oil Glow Dry products in general! They are formulated to assist with styling and create the perfect blow-dry and styling situation. The Shampoo and Conditioner leave the hair with mirror like shine and are just the perfect duo for getting your hair looking it’s best when you’re on the go.

 

Redken Two Day Extender: Fun fact, did you know you’re supposed to put dry shampoo in your hair when it’s clean? That’s why Redken calls one of their dry shampoos Two Day Extender. They’re trying to get the point across that it’s supposed to extend the life of your style rather than try to save it when it’s already too late. I keep a travel size version of this product for travel because it’s going to minimize the need to wash my hair and keep my style looking fresh. Bonus- It smells amazing and has touch activated fragrance.

 

Redken One United: This is a multi-benefit spray that I will not put a brush or comb in wet hair without! I use it mostly as a detangler but I’m grateful for the other 24 things it’s doing for me without me having to think about it.

 

Redken Outshine 01: This is the perfect product to create a flawless, shiny frizz free blow out! Usually I’d cocktail and layer products when I’m blow drying my hair but, in a pinch, and not a lot of space in my bag this is the product I prioritize.

 

Redken Iron Shape 11: This is a heat protecting spray with a nice little hold factor to it as well. Anything that can do more that one job for me is always going to make me very happy because that means more room in my bag! I love to curl my hair and heat protection is not an option it’s a necessity.  I’m not letting my vacation cause permanent damage on my hair due to skipping this step.

 

Redken Triple Dry 15: This hairspray is brand new in the game from the Dry Texture line! If you’d like to see a blog post where I dive into the whole line a little bit deeper, let me know. This is the best smelling hairspray I’ve ever used and the hold factor is just enough to get the job done. It gives me the hold I’m looking for without being too much. It also gives me the ability to create the most amazing texture when I have waves or curls in my hair.

 

I hope you found this content useful. I do a decent amount of traveling for work and also for fun! For that reason, I have found many ways to make life easier and less stressful. If you’d like to hear more travel and packing advice, leave me a comment and let me know! What are you going to put in your travel hair bag?